The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

I have been much inspired by Monkeemaven's rooftop pictures of her WIP's and FO's so I hauled some of my WIP's and almost, practically FO's to the pump house for their photo op.
I am still working on two entrelac scarves from Gedifra Highlights 042. As you can see, if this were a race, scarf number two would be winning.
I am two repeats into the Fall 2005 Interweave Knits Cabled Shrug. It took me quite a while to copy the charts and enlarge the charts and cut the charts and tape them to cardstock and color-code the stitches and slip it in a plastic jacket. Phew! I need a nap just thinking about it. Everyone doesn't have to go through this piffle, I'm sure, but this allows me to leave my knitting and return to it without (hardly) ever going awry--'cept for the occasional tinking of half a row here and there necessitated by the occasional short trips to the Zone I experience from time to time.

This Lucy Bag just needs to be kitchnered and felted.

This is the unsheared Satchel made with White Buffalo. It needs its strap sewn on.

I have finished another short row project, the Mezza Luna Bag in Classic Elite Gatsby in color way I Forget. Gatsby has been discontinued but the pattern calls for any worsted, Aran or other weight that will give 4" to 4 1/2" sts/inch in stockinette. Since I am a slovenly swatchless individual my finished bag is larger than the pattern's dimemsions of 14" high overall and 7" at the lowest part of the center opening. Mine is 16" and 9" at the center opening. Let me stick a picture here so you can see what I'm talking about.

I love the bag part but I'm not crazy about the strap. I may cut it in half lengthwise and refelt it and add another thin strap in a contrasting color and twist them together. This is a fun pattern and, as the pattern says, it is deceptively easy to knit. Aside from the shape, I especially like the strap tabs.

They are knit during the bind off and attached using a three-needle cast off. They could also be bound off and sewn after felting and since I am no good at describing anything just skip this part because I'm sure it makes no sense. The tabs need to be stuffed with plastic bags or some such to prevent felting them closed. It's not written in the pattern and I wasn't thinking when I pitched mine in the washer and they did felt together a bit but I inserted a large pair of scissors and opened and closed them a few times and all was well. I'm going to put it in a neighbor's washing machine that has a Serious Agitation setting and see if it won't felt down to a smaller size.
And finally, the really not good looking Inky Dinky Bag made with Cascade 220 in colorway Once Is Enough--I dyed it myself and, believe me, this color ain't ever going to happen again.

It measures 4 1/2" by 8" and is just something I made up as I went along. I am going to sew some small D-rings to attach the orange-brassy looking chain I will use for the strap. I made the buttonhole because I want to use a really cool orange-brassy-looking button that I found. I am waffling over making a bag that will be more worthy of the hardware and just make a thin strap out of the yarn and throw on another button for the Inky Dinky. The bag is only slightly better looking in real life, by the way, but the dear brat things it's cute.
Okay, I think that's enough for this episode. Happy holidays to all--I know it's early for some of them but I never know when I'll get back here.

WIP's, Yarn and SEX!!

Normally those are three of my favorite words but they have kept me so busy I have no time for posting. Poor blog--I do miss you so.

On the needles:

Fashion Trend Scarf I
Fashion Trend Scarf II
Lucy Bag
Booger-ish Bag
Pair of socks for a mouse (Long story but suffice it to say it's not a real mouse.)
Cabled Shrug from the Fall 2005 Interweave Knits
To-be-frogged-Clapotis (No glitches, just don't like the colorway.)

No pictures, no time, sorry.

I organized the stash Saturday...hmmmm...yes, it was just Saturday--it seemed like it took a week to finish--and I discovered some White Buffalo I didn't know I had. Actually, it was more of Damnation-I-thought-I-had-swapped-all-of-you!! moment. I tell ya, if you buy twenty-three pounds of White Buffalo the SABLE Fairy will not let you forget it. (It was a SALE, I have repented, I have shared the wealth, I have made several Buffalo projects, don't I deserve some peace now?) Anyway, after the stash organization, I took my patterns in hand, parceled out yarn for each and placed a pattern and the yarn required in a ziplock bag. I then paused for a Martha moment of patting myself on the back for a good thing well done and realized with a shock that I hadn't had SEX in nearly a MONTH. (This realization occurred, by the way, after a recent balancing of the checkbook and the happy discovery of a larger balance that I had thought available.) Well, the fever was upon me. I will spare you the crass details of my binge.

O! SABLE Fairy, tortureth me not for yea, verily, I promise I shall shareth thy bounty. Speaketh thou with Fairy of the Paid Bills, for he hath been mollified. Verily.

This has been the BEST SP round

I received my last parcel of the SP5 round from Lainch this morning. I must type this now as she sent me a bar of Green & Black's and I will shortly be very ill because I have no will power AT ALL and will eat the whole thing today.

She sent three skeins each of Rowan dk tweed and Jo Sharp's Silkroad dk tweed, the Green & Black's, an audio cd of Tess of the D'Urbervilles, some tiny little hanks of cotton, silk cocoons, which I have never seen before, silk ribbon and tiny wood ornaments for my Top Secret Projects, and a very, very nice card, which I forgot to put in the picture.

She also made this for me.

Four and one half feet of a silky-soft lace scarf. *sigh* She made lace for me. It's beautiful; a dusky lavender, and my photography skills do not do it justice. Here's a close-up.

Not only am I overwhelmingly happy she made it for me, I am also purple, red, yellow, and green with envy that she makes lace so beautifully and I can't even make lace uglify.

Peri, you have been the best pal anyone could have, and I too feel like I have made a friend.

The Off Yarn

I had some time off over the weekend. Some much needed time off, I may add. Of course I had all sorts of things planned and knowing that everyone has been waiting impatiently for an account of the festivities, here goes.

Account of the Festivities.

Things didn't go as planned. Quelle suprise. (But everything turned out all right.)

My neighbor inveigled me into accompanying her to the "Y" for a little exercise. Since one of my New Year's, Easter, May Day, Birthday, Fourth of July, and Halloween resolutions was to get in shape, I thought it would be a good time to begin. My neighbor, Lynn, went to the weight room and I went to the pool to do some laps. (There seems to be some discrepancy in the definition of "a lap". Personally, I believe from the shallow end to the deep end is one lap. There are people who believe from the shallow end to the deep end and back to the shallow end is one lap. These people are wrong--it's my blog, my definition.) Since I hadn't lifted anything heavier that a fork in months I decided it would be prudent to use a kickboard so I wouldn't drown if I ran out of gas or caught a cramp, or both. A tribe of little kiddies, the Diving Dolphins, were perched on the bleachers awaiting a lesson. (Diving Dolphins do not dive, they swim--probably named by the wierd lap-definition guy.)

I was glad to get in the water ahead of the DD's because children that age have a tendency to pee in the pool water and I don't care how much chlorine there is in the mix, pee is still pee. It's sort of a phobia of mine. I eased into the water--heated but you couldn't prove it by me--and kickboarded my way to the deep end--one lap. I made my way back to the shallow end--lap two. My goal was six. I was a bit puffy, a nice euphemism for "sucking wind", so my next trip to the deep end was much slower. I decided midway that my next lap to the shallow end would be my last. But, hey, I had made an effort and I felt pretty good about it. When I reached the deep end I was so tired I figured I better quit before I had a heart attack. I was very, very tired. I had reached muscle fatigue. How does one know when one has reached muscle fatigue? Ah, well, when one can't haul one's fat arse out of the pool, that's how one knows.

I was stuck in the deep. My whole body was on strike except my lungs, which graciously continued to take in air. I couldn't get out, couldn't kick to the shallow end where the steps hung out, and I would not call out to the Diving Dolphins to get an adult to help me out. (Half of you are thinking, "I understand completely; I would be too embarassed to ask for help." The other half who are not thinking that go away.)

I don't know if you have had occasion to appear nonchalant while gasping for air as you clutch a kickboard at the deep end of a swimming pool but it's not as easy as you may think. There was not much to look at, no one I could talk to, and no Musak to hum along with. When the DD's got in the water I pretended an interest in them while oh, so slowly scooching my hands along the side of the pool trying to make it to the Other Side before one of the DD's decided to "go" in the pool. The pool at our Y is the olympian-approved size, a mile and a half long I think, but it took forever to get to the 3 1/2 ft. marker. Meantime I was getting cold--heated pool my great aunt fanny--and I had a nearly debilitating cramp in my left pinkie toe.

Time passed. A long time passed and, yes, Virginia, help did come. Lynn came to see what was taking me so long and towed me to the shallow end and helped me up the steps. She refused to haul me out in the contraption they have for people who are unable to walk without assistance--claimed I didn't need it. She did agree to massage my foot because my pinkie toe was killing me. She did agree it was a shame I had been stuck in the water. She did laugh until she got cramps--hah! She did say she would pay for lunch since she had been so entertained, although she said it was because I had had such a hard workout (plus she knew I was too tired to eat).

My new New Year's resolution this time will probably be to get in shape, but I think I'll just buy a girdle.

And a by the way...ya know, sometimes I don't think how odd things must appear to non-knitting non-blogging personnel. While I was off I made a pair of socks (from yarn sent by my wonderful no longer Secret Pal, Lainch). They were stunnin' but I forgot my camera so I asked an in-law if I could borrow his so I could get a cd made at Wally World allowing me to upload them when I returned to work. He said he didn't lend his camera out but he would be glad to come and take the pictures I wanted. **reword that sentence so it makes sense** When he arrived I had my socks artfully arranged atop a cloth-covered patio table awaiting their photo-op. In-law wouldn't take the picture. He thought it was a joke. I cooed and cajoled and told him about the world of knitters and blogging and almost had him convinced until my darling person cracked a joke about it. In-law thought we were setting him up for some horrific Halloween prank and wouldn't be pursuaded otherwise. (Can't say I blamed him, my darling person did put a biggish turtle in his toilet one year.)

Any way, like Yogi Bara sort of said, "It just goes to show ya that three-fourths of the world just doesn't understand what the other half enjoys and a third of them won't try."

Backwarding better

I thought I had nailed it but...

Since I am new to reverse knitting and I started the scarf from my previous post before I was proficient--sounds better than "didn't practice enough"--I ran into some technical difficulties. Well, perhaps aesthetic difficulties would be more apropos. My tension changed dramatically **tension walks on stage and shouts, "I have changed!"** so I frogged the scarf and started over. I considered this a sign of (pick one) my maturing character or sheer lunacy. Persnickety perfectionism is SO not me and at first I balked at the idea of frogging and tried purposely knitting loosely, which did not work. Then I changed to larger needles which worked but didn't improve the beginning crappethy part of the fabric. So *sigh* I started over and have become a saner woman in the process. (Snicker and I will find you.)

See the differences in stitch quality , not to mention size, of my scarves done with the same yarn on the same needles but with much better control of the working yarn.

It is not perfect but I think it's much better looking and *gasp* it is the correct gauge. There are occasional wonky stitches but usually these result from putting my work down mid-row or not paying attention because this pattern it not something to zone out on. Nope, it's definitely not a knit-while-steering-with-one-knee WIP but I do enjoy the entrelac technique and I'm having a good time with it and that's what matters, eh?

I'm backwards

After much aggravation and cussin' I have mastered (mistressed?) reverse/backward knitting. I am really more of a reverse purler as I haven't yet done a pattern requiring the reverse knitting. The actual making of a single stitch is not a big deal in itself. It's speeding up and developing a technique that insures even stitches and tension that nearly caused me to snatch myself bald-headed. I have nailed it and I am ridiculously proud of myself. I am now the Backward-Knitting Clap-Queen Bag-Hag and Short-Row Junkie. Feel free to kowtow .

Sue, yarn-junkie enabler extraodinaire, at Little Knits told me about this scarf pattern in Gedifra Highlights 042

She made me get the book and yarn Gedifra Fashion Trend Stripe in colorway 16 which just happens to be soft and beautiful and which I had never seen before but she assured me I would love and I do and I hate when she's right.

I have two on the needles right now.

The first is actually my second start on the pattern. I knit four rows in some scrap yarn to see if the pattern needed any tweaking, frogged it and started the two you see. The first is made with Wool Ease on size seven needles and the second is made with the Gedifra mentioned above on size tens. You can see more clearly in the second picture that I have three sets of twelve live stitches on one needle. The pattern calls for the live stitches to be placed on a stitch holder but I find they can be left on the needle even if I turn the work. When the fabric got longer and too cumbersome to turn I still left the live stitches on the needle and used a DPN to knit the stitches currently in use. I'm no good at describing things and I'm sure that last bit made no sense so just skip it. Of course, reverse knitting makes the whole pattern much simpler and faster.

Now, a month ago, if I had read that sentence written by someone else I would have scoffed. I am, after all, fifty-two years old and I have been knitting a long time and after a token attempt I thought the technique was beyond me--the whole new-dog-new-trick thing, ya know. But I was wrong--and there's three words I don't say/write/type often. I practiced, cussed, practiced, cussed, and finally something clicked in the brain to hands transmission and I was backwarding up a storm. I'm not bragging, it was really hard for me to learn, but I am so proud of me.

I may be growing a fennel bush

I received a package from the illustrious Ms. S. Pal. Behold.

There were wonderful new-to-me-yarns: A skein each of Rowan Big Wool, Rowanspun, Wool Cotton, and the magnificent, heard-about-it-but-WOW! Kidsilk Haze. (Pardon me while I put on my dribble bib.) I started swatches of each immediately, except the Kidsilk Haze. There should be a warning on its wrapper, "Froggeth ye not for, yea, verily, I ain't gonna do it." I am petting it so much it will soon be be unknittable if I don't stop.

I also got a poem, Widecombe Fair, a kit to make a star cushion (?)--I'm not sure what it is exactly because I don't want to open it yet. I'm sure to lose the bits and pieces. There was also an elegant card with elephants on it. Miz Pal included a stick of rock candy, which I am not going to eat but keep on my desk shelf as a remembrance so I can get the warm fuzzies when I see it, and some beautiful ruby colored English Rose soap--smells heavenly but tastes terrible (and how would one know if one did not try it?). And I got a sweet little tin of comfit. Do you know what comfit are? They are confections made of a small piece of fruit, a seed, or a nut coated in sugar. (One had to look it up. One was not schooled in comfitture.) When I saw it I stripped it of its plastic wrap, opened it, saw some pink Tic Tac looking things and popped one in my mouth. Hmmmm. It was naive little tidbit but amusingly presumptious with a nicely focused hint of cinnamon. Quite nice. However, it did have a very small piece of wood at it's core and I spat this out. (Translation: I went, "Blaaaah!" over the trash can.) I had another. Same small bit of wood. I picked up my tin and read "Cinnamon Comfit", ingredients: sugar, starch, fennel seed, cinnamon oil, color #120. I didn't know what a comfit was so I thought perhaps it was not meant to taken orally and grabbed the Webster's to look it up. Turned out that the bit of wood was the fennel seed, duh, which was what made the candy a comfit and not a Tic Tac. I have had several since and I have decided I like them. I chewed a few of the fennel seeds and some I swallowed whole--not really up on my Comfit Etiquette. Someone must let me know the proper procedure. (I did discover, however, that I can not spit them with any degree of accuracy.)

I like trying new things but I was a I-never-had-it-and-I-know-I-won't-like-it person for a long time; afraid to try anything new. No more. I enjoy new taste experiences and look forward to more--Ms. Pal has been asking about chocolate and tea preferences. Can't wait to taste them.

But I still don't like the soap.

Short Rows

I have become a short row junkie and it's all Fiberbliss's (Linda) fault. She sent me a link to Iris Schreier's site, Art Yarns Short Row Tutorials. I made a half dozen or so Multi-directional triangular Scarves and the more I made the more short-row techniques I wanted to learn--which lead to buying more yarn...but that's another addiction.

These are two ot the short-row scarves. For the first I used Schaefer's Elaine in Jane Addams and for the second Noro Silk Garden #104 (I think).

The pattern is simple and the results quick and gratifying and non-knittin' people think I'm an awesome knitter when they see it. (My mum is going to be so impressed). Never made one of these? Why? This scarf is as much fun as making a clapotis but without the stitch markers, dropped stitches, yo's, and, ummm, purl stitches. (I still love my Clapoteye, don'tcha know.) It works up well in almost any yarn with the yarn's recommended needle size for a dense fabric or several sizes larger for a more lace-ish-like fabric.

Yesterday...was is just yesterday?...yeah, it was...okay, yesterday I received from the aforementioned fiberbliss Iris Schreier's new book, Modular Knits. Go ahead and check out the the images under the book's cover--I'll wait......Amazing isn't it? The beautiful woman sitting in the chair is wearing the Square Holes Sweater. I love it and it is in my To-Make-in-the-Near-Future-List--as opposed to the Make-It-Sometime-Before-I-Die-List. The book has many different techniques complete with diagrams, beautiful patterns, and directions for learning backwards knitting. With the techniques mastered one could design one's own patterns if one so desired. Want to put a hexagon in a triangle in a rectangular scarf? Well...actually I don't know if that can be done but, by George, this is the book that will let you know if it's possible. Besides the Square Holes Sweater, I particularly like the drop stitch garter lace table runner. Not just that pattern but the whole drop-stitch-garter-lace idea because I love lace and can't, yet, make it. This stitch makes an elegant, airy fabric, a guaranteed non-knitting-person-mind-boggler sure to provide many comments on the amazing artistry and skill of yours truly. I can't wait to flaunt it. (You may remember from a previous episode that I harbor a sick, evil inner being that thrives on the oohs and ahs of nonknitters. I am going to try and learn backward knitting to keep my sick, evil inner being from getting a swollen head. Check back with me to see if I survive).

Totally off topic but...

Lookee over there --> -->

I made a button. **imagine big cheesey grin here** It's ugly and if you were to put it on your blog and someone clicked on it it wouldn't do anything but I am ridiculously proud of it. I'm only slightly abashed to admit that it took me two hours to make. I used an online tutorial (whichwas wonderful and which I can't find right now or I would put the link here) to learn how to make the button and I have the know how, I think, to turn it into a link but it will have to wait.

I'm off to be modular. (Most people just think I'm off.)

Thank you, Linda.

Ms. S. Pal sent me goodies

Ah, but my Secret Pal is wonderful. Look at the goodies I received on the first official day of this round.

From...

If you recognized this handwriting let's talk.

Ms. S. Pal sent a very sweet card, Great Expectations audio book, a music mix (mixed music) cd, giraffe and elephant 'fridge magnets and a giraffe keychain for my inner child, two skeins of luscious Debbie Bliss merrino dk going-to-be-socks-yarn, three packets of beads, a pair of bag handles for my inner bag hag, a Get Knitted pen and Wool Fat Soap, and some hand cream for the outer crust. Ain't she a treasure?

Thank you SP of mine. Have a good vacation.

Hey, Ali, Look at This

My first Booga Bag...sort of. I didn't like the pleat so I blocked it to be a straight-sided rectangle. I also didn't care for the I-cord strap so I knit a large square of stockinette, felted it, and then cut it into straps which I felted again. I untwisted the Noro so it would be thin enough to pull through the bag fabric. Then I matched the colors of the bag and sewing yarns and attached the straps to the inside of the bag.

That is not a relative of Sponge Bob Squarepants beside the bag, by the way. It's a stack of video cassettes. See, Ali, this is how big it is. There's one laying flat on the bottom of the pile, then four videos on that and four more videos on those. To block my bag I eased all those cassettes into it and wrapped the bag tightly with some fabric so the corners would be sharper. I ended up hitting the corners with the iron just a tad.

By the way, if you stuff videos in a wet bag and wrap it with fabric it takes ages to dry...just thought y'all might want to know that. For the wierdos who like specifics it's 9" high, 7 3/4" wide and 4 1/2" deep.

Strife of Life Miscellany

One

Sunday I cleaned my patient's large combination bedroom and den. It was quite an undertaking as he is allergic to dust mites and everything, walls, ceiling, bottoms of chairs, everything has to be vacuum. I heaved and hauled and shoved furniture, stooped and crawled to get to nooks and crannies, took down drapes, and finished up ready for a nap. An odd quirk in my constitution won't allow me to relax after I get really tired--I tried to nap but gave up and pitter-pottered around in the kitchen, hit the computer, and rehung the drapes after they were dry. I was very glad to go downstairs to my part of the house at eight that evening. I decided to color my hair and while the dye was on the old bean I started separating the plies of a White Buffalo puck. It was time consuming but I found it soothing and felt very fiber-ish. Well, of course I left the color on too long which would not have been too bad in itself, however, in my mad dash through Wally World I picked up the wrong flavor dye and didn't read the box before I applied it. ("Done it before, hadn't I? Why read?" says I.) Now...picture a face...round as a moon-pie, with a redhead's pale complexion complete with freckles. Now hang a whole lot of dark, dark, brown hair on top ot it, oh, and I dyed my eyebrows too so throw some Brook Shield's wannabe brows in there too. Ah, yes, I was a sight to behold.

Monday morning I discovered that I actually have muscles in my arse. You've heard of buns of steel? I had what felt like buns with burning steel in them. The buns of burning cramps. My thighs and shoulders were stiff but not as bad as the rear end. When I started up the stairs I got a cramp in my left ass that would have killed a lesser woman. Definitely overdid it Sunday. I hobbled around looking quite like a diapered toddler carrying a load. I must have been an entertaining sight--perked up my patient no end to watch me walk. He said I was listing to starboard. I made it though the day by eating Motrin and seating on one heating pad while draping another, shawl-like, around my shoulders.

Two

You may remember from a previous epidisode that my cell phone had a brief sojourn in the dish water. I took it apart and dried what I could and left its innards scattered on a table with a fan to help finish airing it out. Unlike a Timex, it did not take a dipping and keep on ticking. I now have the cell phone equivalent of an old hoopy with no hood, a couple of primer-gray fenders, and four flats. The plastic thingy with the numbers on it won't work so I left it off. I now use a pen or DPN to put in the holes to mash the numbers. The downside of this is that I now need two hands to dial or answer a call so I must steer my car with my knee. Also the three and the six don't work at all and it's a tad limiting since all the local numbers here start with a three. But, hey, speed-dial's a wonderful invention--don't know what I would do without it.

Three

I print out a lot of patterns. Often the same pattern, clapotis, for instance, I have no idea how many copies and partial copies are floating around the house. I have a "Recycle" box for paper with copy on one side only--saving money? No. Saving trips to the far away store. Anyone with half a brain would know to lightly X out the printed side before reusing the paper. Evidently I don't have half a brain and did no X-ing and thereby created the French Market/ Hallowig bag hybrid. The half of my brain I still have made sure I didn't get too far into it before frogging.

Four

And, finally, here is my experimental bag design--from a previous episode--and after felting. I worked long and hard on this pattern. I made charts. I Fairisled, I intarsia-ed, I may have entrelac-ed, I'm not sure. What I am sure of is that I forgot to make it with two straps. There are two straps in the pattern. Since I made the pattern I thought I had memorized it which I had not. Here is a picture. Squint or you might go blind.

Before

After. Note that the single strap is off center.

I cut the strap and I'm going to trim both pieces and see if I can refelt, block and then sew the ends to the bag. Perhaps it will turn out to be carry-able.

I'm always afraid my employer will run across the drivel I post here and wonder how my patient has survived my tender mercies. But I am really a good nurse. Really.

Miscellaneous Yarning

I have been on a yarn binge--yarn I ordered immediately after my accident when I was not quite in my right mind. Did you know yarn etailers won't take back yarn bought in a fit of agitative depression? How rude.

I bought an enormous quantity of White Buffalo. It's been discontinued and was on sale. Buy ten get a discount. So I did. And if one buys ten one might as well by another ten...well, I had to get it, it was such a bargain. Sue at Little Knits also had a sale so I now have a ginormous stash of Cascade 220. Sue, by the way, is a wonderful, friendly, funny person who will really go out of her way to track down what you want and make suggestions. She is quite an enabler. (I am not affiliated with her store--honest.)

I love the White Buffalo. I am using it to make this bag.

I am including this picture to show the size in relation to a video cassette. Personally, I get really frustrated when there is no way to judge the size of a WIP or FO.

Now that I expressed my frustration over pictures with no size reference I have discovered that I do not take a good picture that will show size differences well. I am going to have to finagle the pattern. It started out to be the Satchel from the summer issue of Knitty but I'm using all six plies of the White Buffalo and if I work the whole pattern it's going to weigh a ton and be big enough for a single-car garage. I don't find the yarn to be difficult to work with and that came as a nice surprise since I bought it and knew nothing about it at all. I did look it up in Knitter's Review after I ordered it--how responsible is that? I have separated the strands and made two-ply and three-ply balls out of it. The strands break if I try to hurry but they twist back together like magic. Patience is the key word when working with this yarn--and an extensive repertoire of expletives is a must.

The Cascde 220 is, as a knittyhead told me, just a good ol' yarn. It's easy to work with, comes in a bazillion colors, has great stitch definition, and felts up a storm. I finished the Cable Edge Poncho in Cascade 220 #7824. The pattern is from Knit It! and has so many errors it could make a newbie cry.

It would be nice if I had live bodies in my wearables, wouldn't it. I suffer from model shortage.

Since I had the Casade in white I decided to try my hand at Kool-Aid dying. I studied up on it and jumped in. My first effort was a haphazard drizzling of Kool-Aid over wet yarn which I had placed in an enamel roasting pan and then popped into a 250 degree oven for forty-five minutes.

It's a pretty color way with grape and orange (to make brown), orange alone, and cherry. Well, I thought it was cool and easy and, except for the headache and tightness in my chest, a good experience. I didn't try to inhale the powder, it just happened. Next day I used a stock pot and a hot plate outdoors and cooked up the ugliest mess you ever saw. I can't get a picture to do it justice--or injustice. No more painting, I am going to stick to one flavor dyes for a while.< I had no idea Kool-Aided yarn would smell so badly.

I'm off to work on WIP's so I can take more pics.

The Yarn of Addiction

I'm waiting to hear if a friend, Rachel, a person I have never met or even talked to, has had her baby. I'm praying she and Nicholas are both well. I know her through the online Knittyboard Coffeshop and I feel very close to her and want the best for her and her boys.

I have many online friends now, all of them members of a wonderful knitting forum I discovered by accident in February of this year. I tried talking about them with my patient. He thinks they are probably nut cases like the characters he sees on Law and Order. When I wanted to meet with my cyber buddy Ali in July he just couldn't understand it--thought I was taking a chance of being murdered or abducted by white slavers. I thought it was an age thing--he's eighty-eight--but a lot of people I have talked to here think it's odd.

There is a lot of piffle written about being addicted to the internet and maybe I am an addict--I don't think so but then addicts never do. I have met many kind, caring, and generous people online, more specifically at the Knitty Coffeeshop. I live far from all my family and I am often lonely. That sounds pitiful, doesn't it? But although I have a wonderful husband and a few friends here I don't get to see any of them often. My husband comes to visit where I work as a live-in nurse and my daughter also, but very infrequently, so I really rely on my internet buds for company. I hit the site every day, many times a day. Maybe I am and addict.

I had a terrifying automobile accident while out gathering supplies the Saturday before hurricane Dennis hit Alabama, or my part of Alabama. I was not badly hurt but I was terribly battered emotionally. I needed to have a good, long cry, go to the emergency room--my ankle, my back and my chest were hurting me--and crawl into bed with the heating pad while someone patted me on the head and listened to my accident story. However, I was at work at my patient's home and I couldn't do any of those things. It would have upset him and stressed him out had I told him, which would have made his condition much worse. He was already stressed enough worrying about the storm and huffing and puffing with anxiety. My husband was at home seventy-eight miles away and already worried about me so I couldn't talk to him. My parents also--too far away and worried for me and my family because of the hurricane--couldn't be told. I needed to keep it together for my patient's sake. I put falling apart on hold but I desperately needed to talk to someone.

I posted my dilemma on the Knitty board. I got many, many kind comments of concern and support and prayers for my safety and well-being. I puddled up just reading them. I went back to the board often during the week it took for someone to come and relieve me. I read and reread the posts to the thread I had started. I cannot begin to explain what a comfort those posts were for me. I honestly don't know how I would have made it without the board to come to when my patient was napping or watching television.

No one said any disparaging or discouraging comments. No one said anything about Yarner being all over the board and making no sense at all. Many sent me PM's (private messages on the board). They sent me email. They sent me snail mail.

None of them have ever met me.

Perhaps I am an internet addict. I don't really care. I made it through one of the most hellish weeks of my life with the help of internet friends. This is one addiction I can live with.

And to all of the people on the board, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

On to the Next One

SP4 is almost over. My upstream pal knows who I am and I know who my downstream pal is. I had a great time--got lots of goodies, sent lots of goodies--perfect. I'm ready for SP5. I have many, many ideas for my SP-to-be and if I put them here she or he will know who I am. Such a shame. My thousands of readers (HAH!) will be disappointed.

FO's, WIP's, and Stuff

My poor blog has been sorely neglected so I have some pictures to perk it up.

First, my SP, the wonderful and awesome Jennifer sent this.

It's missing a bag of Riesen's Caramels but the yarns from left to right are four skeins of Plymouth's Suri Merino, two skeins Malabrigo in Red Java, four skeins of Classic Elite Four Seasons (in front of the Malabrigo), two skeins of nature Spun in forest green, three skeins of Knit Picks Elegance. Isn't it all lovely? And all soft and all in my favorite colors. If my questionnaire was a test, Jennifer would get an A.

This is, finally, a picture of Truman Clapotee on a living being, made with Carons Simply Soft and a carry-along railroad ribbon and I still can't get a picture that does it justice. It's 18" by 48" and ties in front if the darlin' daughter wishes. I wanted a heavy fabric so the dropped stitches would not curl.

A close up.

This...

is the beginning of the cabled section of this.

Booga Bag WIP.

An experiment in Cascade 220. Intarsia and fairisle bag. I'm hoping it will felt into something vaguely resembling my bag design

Goodies

These are all goodies I received this week from swaps and RAK's. I am not gloating but showing off the kindness and generosity of the Knitty people.

***While editing I lost my picture. Just imagine until I can get it back.***

Ali with-the-number (I'm sorry, Ali, I love you but I can never remember the number) sent me the Noro, my first, the Patons, also my first, and my first ever pair of Addi Turbo's. Faerynuff, Ali in the UK, made the beautiful stitch markers and gave them to me in a swap. Pihu, Julie, also sent this beautiful, and my first ever, sock yarn and first ever Addi DPN's.

My camera work did not do justice to UK Ali's stitch markers.

Thank you all for my treasures. Aren't I lucky?

The Felting Yarn

I have finished my very first felted thing. Many thank yous to Fiberbliss and Bensmumma (Linda and Rachel) for all the materials and advice.

This is Auntie and the French Market Bag before felting.

It's a small version done on only one hundred stitches. Auntie was still pouting at the time this was taken. I am inordinately proud of this bag. It was fun to make and I learned some new techniques. I made a square-way cool-did sloped decreases, learned to love DPN's and knitting in the round, and I Kitchenered. Although...I didn't Kitchener very well; I'll have to practice. I think the bad grafting was what putting Auntie's strapping in a twist.

And, look, Ma! No ladders!

(No thumbnail, but you can still click it).

Auntie and the bag after felting. She is wearing a newly finished shawl also.

This is a better view of the shawl, made with Caron's Simply Soft.

This is my last, last, last acrylic garment/anything else (except the slippers and afghans for my aged folksies). I don't think Auntie even noticed it was acrylic. Honestly, I had a dream that she reported me to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Lawn furniture. Maybe now things will calm down.

Yarn of the Frou-Frou Bath

Inspired by my SP's generous gifts of bath smell-goods, last night I decided to have a long, relaxing soak in the tub. I dug out some candles I had had for ages and a couple I had found in my cared-for-person's home. (C-f-P's daughter said I could have them-they had been in the house for years.) I put my cd player, a bottle of water, and my current book in the bathroom. I took a shower (floating in all my body dirt, ick), then started the water to fill the tub. I threw in, I mean, gently added, three roses of my new Gardenian Lily. I realize Gardinian Lily and rose don't go together but they do look like roses and they are called roses on the box and this is not important, so just skip this sentence. I set the candles in strategic feng shui places, and started lighting them. The old ones from C-f-P's home went phuttt and burned up in two minutes. I didn't know candles ever did that but, no matter, my other candles were burning nicely.

I must digress for just a moment. I am not a frou-frou person. I used to be before I acquired my surplus tonnage but now I just figure it's a waste of time. I no longer paint my fingernails or toenails (actually, I can't even reach my toes). I seldom wear makeup, my eyes tend to be puffy and, although my face is fairly wrinkle free for my age, when viewed in a magnifying mirror (because of my severe near-sightedness) it's a sight to behold. Having a fairly wrinkle-free face is why I don't lose weight. Losing weight will make all my wrinkles pop out since all the surplus fatty tissue that is nicely plumping them out now would disappear causing wrinkles while, meanwhile, gravity would take over thereby causing my entire facial skin to sag to my collar bones.

Digression continued: I do love a nice soak in the tub. I like the old claw-footed tubs; they're nice and deep and wide and longer than the newer ones. The tub in this house is not deep and wide and long. It's a fiberglass all-in-one tub and shower with little niches for soap and whatnots. The little niches are slick and things that are put there do not stay unless they are put on a washcloth or atop a big blob of Super Glue.

My bath was ready, the candles were lit, the lights were off, the water bottle and book were close to hand, and I had placed a large folded towel at the back of the tub so I could recline in comfort. The aroma was heavenly and the water temperature was just right. I put my head on the folded towel and propped my feet over the front tub edge. What comfort. What bliss. What a Zen moment. I reached for my book and realized I had forgotten to put my reading glasses on...well, crap! I heaved myself out of the tub, dripped water on a candle and doused the flame, dried my hands, got my specs, relit the candle and sank back into the tub. Ahhh, comfort, bliss. I took a swig of water, got my book and settled in for a long bout of skin-pruning and a good read. As Martha would say, "This was a good thing."

Very shortly I realized I would be unable to read as my glasses kept fogging up from the hot water. (Martha never said anything about that). I put the book aside and just soaked and sent myself calming, relaxing thoughts. I soon became aware that my tailbane was getting numb so I shifted position which caused my towel-pillow to slide off the tub. Oh, well, I didn't really need it since I was reading. The water cooled and I deftly used my toes to add more hot water. However, since I had showered first, there was no more hot water so I walked my feet up the wall over the faucets and sank the top half of the bod lower until the water filled my ears and my hair floated about me. Ahh, comfort, bliss. I felt very mermaid-ish.

All the water sipping had given me a pressing need to get out of the tub. However, the water had cooled and I had pruned very nicely so I was ready to get out and wrap myself in two or six towels. It had been a long time since I had spent so much time in the tub. And I was about to find out why...I couldn't get out. I heaved and nothing happened. I pushed with my feet and found my back had stuck to the bathmat. I tried to roll from side to side...did I mention this was not a wide tub? I tried for a sit-up maneuver (HAH! My six pack of abs had long since turned into a twelve pack of flab). I somehow reached with my left hand to grab the handrail on my right and by doing so knocked a candle off it's niche. Hot wax splashed down the right side of my, er, frontage. It was amazing how this gave me the extra energy I needed to get out of the tub. I rose up like Lazurus and splashed the cooling bath water on the wax. It wasn't painful anymore. The first contact with the bod had hurt for just a minute; it had mostly scared me and definitely...I think the correct word here is "galvanized" me into action.

I recovered, after a few unprintable thoughts about "Martha Moments", dried off, brushed my teeth and my hair, and flopped into bed. I had had a nice adrenaline rush from the candle wax and this was not conducive to sleep. I was not calm and relaxed. I was not sleepy. I could not read as I had soaked my book in my efforts to get out of the tub. I tossed and turned a bit and finally found some peace by resolving that all future baths would be taken while in a sitting position, no more reclining with a book. No more Zen moments. And absolutely no more candles.

I have decided that I am now a minus five on the scale of frou-frou-ness. I'll have to pass this info on to MY DEAR SP and any potential RAKers out there. The frou-frou bath was a bust...but I really did smell good.

Look What My SP Sent Me

Lookee, lookee. I got my first SP box today. Boy was that fast. I just found out it was coming yesterday.

I got a book about elephants, (I have a thing for them, dontcha know), Wild Orphans by Gerry Ellis, a notebook with "Happiness" written in Japanese(?), Gardenian Lily bath roses, Summer Blossom body cream, Lemongrass and Sage effervescent bath balls, and, the absolute best part, the Fiddler on the Roof movie soundtrack.

THANK YOU, my wonderful SP.

Tape Yarn A

This is my Aibhlinn, now and forever known as my "A". I keep messing up the spelling so I've been copying and pasting the A word in my posts. Sad, ain't it. This is about four inches done in a ribbon yarn, 50/50 cotton and viscose, color burnt orange.

I am very pleased with it and pleasantly surprised by the way it's coming along.

Yarn and Tell

This is a pile of fabulous feltable yarn I got in a swap with Fiberbliss. I am finally going to get to practice my felting technique. Actually, I have no felting technique yet, but I shall acquire one. There is Brown Sheep, Monos del Uruguay, Noro Kureyon, Reynolds Lite-Lopi, and probably some names I forgot. I have never seen or felt (no pun intended) this yarn before. It's all wonderful.

I also received this stitch marker as a surprise with the yarn. It's made by Fiberbliss, aka Linda and it's the only one I have. It's a beautiful little thing; my photography skills do not do it justice. You can email her about her markers.

And this is my Clapotis WIP. It is done in Caron's Simply Soft in black with Caron"s Fabulous railroad ribbon as a carry-along. I cannot get the right lighting (photo ineptitude) to show the metallics in the ribbon yarn. This particular color has small "tiles" of gold and bronze. It really sparkles and looks stunnin'. Auntie may even deign to model it...the ribbon yarn is nylon, it ain't all acrylic. But, hey, the bags I make will be wool. She'll love those.

The Yarn of Tacky Knitting: for raven's breath

I have used a size seven on all my clapoteye and all of them are made with acrylic yarn (boo, hiss!) and require no more than two skeins of Caron's Simply Soft. I am longing for some Lorna's Laces Lion and Lamb, Koigu Kersti, or something else lush, plush, and not man made.

Folks, I will swatch like mad and frog for a sweater or other project that must fit a person but a Clapotis is just a scarf. A beautiful scarf, a fun to knit scarf, a one-size-fits-all scarf, but a scarf none the less. Getting section one done correctly (and I am still amazed when I actually have seventeen stitches at the end of it) is a challenge if I'm not paying attention. I have frogged those beginning rows many times. But this pattern is wonderfully forgiving. As long as the twisted stitches (kbl) are done correctly and the yarn overs are in the right place, everything else can be fudged. The extra stiches anywhere can be ssk'ed or if there aren't enough stitches (six) between the markers a kfb can be thrown in. As long as the decreases or increases do not involve the twisted stitches.

It can take ages to find out where the extra stitches come from or in which part of Kansas the missing stiches took up reseidence. As long as a stitch hasn't been dropped, I say fudge it.

Now, I know there are hardcore knitters out there who have to know where they went adrift and will frog and frog until they have it done perfectly and I admire there perfectionism. I was not cursed, er, blessed with the perfection gene so I refuse to frog over an extra or missing stitch here and there. (But I will tink, like, ya' know, if I go off in the zone and knit my purl rows- happened a time or two, yes it did). I love this pattern and in no way do I wish to imply that it isn't a scarf to take time and trouble over. Of course, I want all my FO's to look as nice as possible. Well, who doesn't? But, so far, Auntie isn't complaining over the occasional fudge. 'Course, she still hates acrylic.

I've Been Sticked

Ali (Ali2005224) and Rachel (bensmumma) tagged me. I must apoligize to Ali because I completely forgot... Total Number of Books in Your House: Egads! Hundreds! Once I get a book I can't bear to part with any of them unless, in my opinion, they're yuck. (Harlequin romances, shudder). 2.The Last Book You Bought Was: "Stroke of Midnight" by Laurell K. Hamilton. Shh, it's a secret. I have all of her books but I'm a closet fan. I ordered before publication last September, waited and waited for delivery in mid-April and read it in two days. 3.What Did You Last Read Before Getting Tagged: "The Wonder Worker" by Susan Howatch. It's the sixth or seventh book in her series about the Church of England. I have all of her books too and would love to get some of her earlier ones on cd's- unabridged. 4.Write Down 5 (or 6) Books You Often Read, or That Mean a Lot to You: "The Portable Works of Voltaire" and Shakespeare's Complete Works". Okay, those are titles thrown in so my mother will be impressed. Actually, I read Brunner's and Bare's "Medical-Surgical Nursing" to keep myself up to date since I don't work in a hospital and see a lot of different illnesses or conditions. "Indecent Obsession", not an indecent book, and "The Ladies of Missalongha" both by Colleen MucCullough. I don't know why I keep reading them over and over. I have a tendency to do that with books in a series and these are not. "The Ladies of M" is a dreams-can-come-true book; I just go all mush over a happy ending. The Bertie and Jeeves books by P.G. Wodehouse. I don't have them all but they're always good for a laugh. 5. Who are You Going to Pass The Stick on to and Why? My sister Juice and my mom, both voracious readers.

Milifilli Fine Yarn

I'm not happy with the clapotis I bagan in the Millifili. The dropped stitches sag and look more like a knitting error than a planned design. So it's frogged. I love the colorway, there must be something it wants to be; I'll keep looking. By the way...If you have ever heard of this yarn and have suggestions I would love to hear them.

Auntie wearing another clapotis done in Caron Simply Soft. She's been in a foul mood all day and won't even look me in the eye. Personally, I think she's just being bitchy about wearing acrylic and, really, how can I blame her?

This is a recent ebay purchase. It's Millefili Fine, 100% cotton, 21 stitches, 29 rows = 4" swatch on size 3 or 4 needles. I have never seen or heard of this yarn before but I decide to start number six? seven/clapotis with it on size six needles. If It Is Not Meant To Be I will try a tank. This is the first four inches and two rows into section three, one and half repeats in section two. A little loose but will see...

The Picture Yarn

At last, a picture. Thank you Ali and your cohorts. This is my very first clapotis, modeled by my great aunt (she came back as a cheap lawn chair-she never did have any class) made with Cervinia Amalfi, an acrylic fingering weight yarn. I didn't want to use anything expensive in case I had to frog it. It looks quite nice but, delicate flower that I am, it makes me itch like mad. I shall give it to someone with a tougher hide than mine because someone is going to wear this. It took me a ridiculous number of attempts to get the first seventeen stitches done correctly. I have made five others, all in solid colors, all with inexpensive yarn (okay, it's cheap yarn), and now I want to make one with a snuggly and varigated yarn, with nary an acrylic fiber in the midsts of its lusciousness.

Sock Yarn

Last month I decided I am going to knits socks. Being a sane, sensible person I thought it best to make something easier on bigger needles since I have never used DPN's or knit in the round. I decided on a Hallowig to start with since I have never used DPN's and I think it's cool and looks fairly uncomplicated.. I have a set of size six Clovers kindly picked out for me by Rita in New York, some not so wonderful yarn, a pattern, and a strong yen to get started. I was off... The first six inches of two by two ribbing on my straight sixes went quickly but I was eager to offloaded my stitches to my four needles and start counting off for markers. Well...I was a stitch shy. But, hey, no problemo, I would just pop one in when I came to the shortage-no big. Now, I have seen posts by wicked people making disparaging comments on the topic of DPN's and I was determined not to be prejudiced. All new things take practice. A calm head and a steady hand and some patience is all that is required. Onward MacDuff!! My first round was a...words cannot express. Stitches were dripping and dropping from the ends and I would just get the ones on this needle put back on when the ones on that needle would fall off. I finally did what you're supposed to do and smushed those puppies to the midddle of the needles. Calm head, steady hand, soldier on. I kept on rounding and realized about round number fourish that I had forgotten to put in the marker to show the end of the rounds. So I stopped knitting to fix that. Then at the end of the tenth row I noticed my two by two ribbing was just a little off. I had some two by threes, two by fours, and a stretch of stockinette. Well, I think symmetry is boring anyway and this would make my wig different and kicky. Why not spice things up? Then I noticed I had a few ladders, holes and, bulgey places in my fabric. At this time I thought perhaps a short peek at some how-to sites would not be remiss. I was not, not, not going to frog my wig... Allow me to interject some background here. I need to tell you a little about where I live. I am, for those who don't know, a live-in caregiver in a very small town. I have never seen anyone knit or crochet here and have never received any replies to my little notes on various bulletin boards about having a knitting/crochet circle or gabfest. I take my cared-for-person to his doctor visits here in town and always take a WIP with me. I always get comments. "How lovely." "How fast you work." "How clever you are." "I would never have the patience/time/smarts to do that." Since my cared-for-person and I are at the various offices here quite frequently I see many of the same people over and over again. Some have seen projects from start to finish. They see me in the Piggly Wiggly and ask about my current project. Women have told other women about my wondrous works. "Sister, this is that girl I was telling you about." And deep in my evil little mind I am eating this up and wallowing in their approbation. I glow, my heart throbs and my head grows larger. Obviously I am vastly superior to these country yahoos. Ahem, to continue...While sitting in the waiting room surrounded by some of my fan club, I take out my Hallowig on its four needles and started to work and waited for all the good comments that were coming. One fella said' "Hey gal, whatcha ya' making now?" "A hat," I beam. Another man, there were no women there that day, says, "Whatcha call that yer doin'?" "Looks like a mess to me," says another. "You sure yer doin' that the right way?" chimes in an ancient specimen. There is a redneck-against-the-Yankee-gal-poke-fun-a-thon in the making. The testosterone level is rising fast. "My boy has some TinkerToys, I bet he could do that." Don'tcha need another hand there, gal?" "You sure you got enough of them sticks workin'?" You're gonna mess up and poke yourself in the eye with one of them things." And so on. My patient didn't make comments but he laughed along with everyone else (a lesser being than myself would make him pay for that). The ancient speciman nearly laughed himself into an infarct. The office help came out to see what the joke was and a good time was had by all. Meanwhile, my glow turned a nice shade of tomato, my heart throbbed not, and my head deflated to its normal size. The lesson, of course, is to keep the sticks out of public view in the future and just maybe I'm not the hot stuff my evil inner being thinks I am. However...I did finish my Hallowig and it's a sight to behold. Dear, dear Ali is sending me a camera and someone is going to model it for me so I can post a picture. I am going to knit socks. I'm going to make Kate's Top-down Training Sock pattern from the Spring Knitty and proceed in a methodical fashion. I don't have the right size needles yet (hint, hint) and I have no sock yarn but I can still practice until the Yarn Fairy drops in.

The Last WIP Yarn

I did it. I finished my lion from hell. I spritzed it with water, blocked it, sewed on the eyes, trimmed the fuzz, attached it to some stiff cardboard, attached that to a piece of luan, and the whole mess weighs eighteen pounds. It's going to take a sixteen penny spike to support it. It's not framed yet so there's another pound. It looks quite spiffy, if I do say so myself and I can say so because I have no pictures and you will just have to take my word for it. I decided to goose it up a little so I used some 22 gauge black wire instead of yarn for whiskers and I crocheted some eyes instead of embroidering them and used little bits of felt for the speckles that the whiskers come out of instead of French knots. I will get some pictures on here one day. I need to get a camera quickly because after I get the camera it will no doubt be six months or so before I have mastered the whole digital picture taking and uploading technology involved.

Yarn of the Lion WIP

I love patterns with jungle animals-just the heads though. I wanted to make a wall hangy thing for my daughter's dorm room and I couldn't find a knitty pattern I liked so I tracked down a lion crochet pattern. I made a single crochet rectangular "canvas" and then started cross-stitching the lion. Sounds good, eh? However, I made a few decision-making errors right from the beginning. Firstly, the "canvas" was supposed to be made in a simple afghan stitch. Well, I have never mastered the afghan crap, so I just single crocheted the thing. And, big surprise, cross-stitching over single crochet is akin to all twelve of the labors of Hercules. (Don't try it, just believe). Secondly, I didn't check my gauge and what should have been a twenty-four by thirty-six incher became a thirty-six by forty-four monstrosity. I altered the lion pattern graph and thought, "What the hell, it'll be cool when it's finished." Thirdly, and worstly, I decided to substitute the plain old worsted weight acrylic yarn it called for with some hairy, bulky weight stuff to use for the cross-stitching. The lion would stand out! It would have texture!! All the stitches would fill in nicely and the lion would be more solid looking. Ha! Sheer lunacy. Threading a yarn needle with the hairy yarn was difficult, it would start to unwind and "unbulk" after just a few stitches, and the finished stitches fuzzed from handling. After nearly six months of moaning and bitching and throwing it in the bottom of my project basket, and taking it out again and working on it and throwing it, etc. etc. I have decided I'm not going to let it kick my ass. No sir, I'm going to show it who's boss and finish the damn thing. On the bright side, it does look like a lion. I will prune the fuzzed stuff when I'm finished and, always providing I do finish, I will block it and frame it, and give it to my daughter, who, I've decided, really doesn't deserve it. But, I suppose, a parent is meant to suffer and be driven nuts for and by their offspring. I can always play up the martyr end of the whole mess and hope for better Mother's Day goodies.

The Yarn of Pictures

There ain't none.

The Yarn of Befuddlement

I have completed all but one of my projects. Since the recent Frogging of Clapotis the Second I have been stumped by what to begin next. I restarted Clapotis the Second and I'm just not into it so I frogged it after the first few increase rows. I have been buying and petting and swatching new yarns. I go through the Knitty threads looking for projects and I've found soooo many I want to do. The spirit is willing but the brain is on hold. I want to make the Hallowig, the Booby scarf, the Heart scarf, the Viking Chicken Hat (yes, it's ugly but I don't care), a tank top (which I haven't found a pattern for yet)and more. I suppose I'll finish my last project, put all the want-to-do stuff in a hat and just pick one. Or, I'll check out the KAL's...

The Yarn of Knitting

I learned to knit when I was eleven. In the fourth grade there were mandatory swimming lessons at the Y, in the fifth-knitting. There was some sort of LYS plot, aided and abetted by the mom's of fifth grade girls, that ensured the LYS a sale of a pair of size ten and a half needles, a skein of yarn and a beginner's pattern book to every eleven year old in town. Quite a racket. I attended one class; then I was on my own. My first projest was a pair of slippers, or rather a slipper. I knit and frogged, knit and frogged until I finished a slipper the size of Lake Michigan. It was the only thing I did finish for years. The other pattern in the beginner book was for a scarf that started with one stitch and increased at the beginning and end of every other row. My knitting was so tight with so many split stitches it couldn't even be frogged. It was very discouraging and I gave up on the whole knitting mess for a while. When i became pregnant, I had visions of my child clothed in the loveliest layettes, the softest blankets, all made with my own hot little hands. I finished one sweater with some direction from a neighbor-lady, but if I had produced a child that could actually fit into that sweater, I would have run screaming from the delivery room. Still, I kept buying yarn, needles, and patterns. I started hats, booties, and blankets and never finished anything-had quite a stash, though. I got frustrated, gave all my knitting paraphernalia away and took up crocheting....Time passed... When I was thirty I moved next door to a wonderful knitting maniac who became my knitting maven. I discovered that I had learned to purl incorrectly. I had been bringing my yarn under and over the needle. This made my purled stitches twisted? pointing down? well, all screwed up whatever they were doing, and it made knitting purled stitches a real pain. Well, from then on projects just flew from my needles like magic. Okay, that's a lie. But it did make a big difference. I started finishing hats and scarfs. I made a sweater. I learned to CABLE. I STARTED KNITTING WITH TWO, THREE, AND MORE COLORS OF YARN ON ONE PROJECT. BY GEORGE, I WAS AMAZING!...Time passed... A few months ago I found The Knitty, where knitters posted about natural fiber, home-dyed, hand-painted, luxurious, sensuous, sumptuous, slobber-worthy yarns. I was humbled. I felt like the Queen of the Trailer Trash Knitters. I had never used any yarn but poor ole Red Heart from Wally World. I have started buying yarn off ebay, a wonderful knitter in Rochester, New York sent me some yarn skeins and samples: Noro wool and cashmere blend, Debbie Bliss alpaca silk, Queensland Kathmandu merino, silk, and cashmere blend. O! be still, my heart. My knitting mojo (I stole that, Lord of the Copyright Laws. I confess) has been seriously kicked into overdrive (and I am not manic, I don't care what they say). A future of wallowing in my newfound yarns looms before. My project list is endless. Unfortunately, my finances aren't, but... I'll yarn on.

The Yarn of Why?

So, I say to myself, "Self start a blog." "Why?" asks self. "The Knitty people said to," I reply. "Are they crazy?" yelps self. "No doubt," says I. So here I am, a blogger. I have been hugely entertained and educated by others' blogs. I would like to do the same (though I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you). You may notice a lack of pictures here as I have not yet mastered the techy parts of uplaoding them. Oh, and I also don't have a camera. Be that as it may, kindly look at the "About Me" section and picture a terribly attractive fat woman with, pick one: reddish blond, auburn, or light golden brown (that's what it says on the box)hair, brown eyes, and 384,937 freckles. Also imagine a picture of a nearly completed clapotis which does not appear to be a parogranm, parrellograph, er, the shape it says it should be in the pattern.