The Yarn of Knitting

I learned to knit when I was eleven. In the fourth grade there were mandatory swimming lessons at the Y, in the fifth-knitting. There was some sort of LYS plot, aided and abetted by the mom's of fifth grade girls, that ensured the LYS a sale of a pair of size ten and a half needles, a skein of yarn and a beginner's pattern book to every eleven year old in town. Quite a racket. I attended one class; then I was on my own. My first projest was a pair of slippers, or rather a slipper. I knit and frogged, knit and frogged until I finished a slipper the size of Lake Michigan. It was the only thing I did finish for years. The other pattern in the beginner book was for a scarf that started with one stitch and increased at the beginning and end of every other row. My knitting was so tight with so many split stitches it couldn't even be frogged. It was very discouraging and I gave up on the whole knitting mess for a while. When i became pregnant, I had visions of my child clothed in the loveliest layettes, the softest blankets, all made with my own hot little hands. I finished one sweater with some direction from a neighbor-lady, but if I had produced a child that could actually fit into that sweater, I would have run screaming from the delivery room. Still, I kept buying yarn, needles, and patterns. I started hats, booties, and blankets and never finished anything-had quite a stash, though. I got frustrated, gave all my knitting paraphernalia away and took up crocheting....Time passed... When I was thirty I moved next door to a wonderful knitting maniac who became my knitting maven. I discovered that I had learned to purl incorrectly. I had been bringing my yarn under and over the needle. This made my purled stitches twisted? pointing down? well, all screwed up whatever they were doing, and it made knitting purled stitches a real pain. Well, from then on projects just flew from my needles like magic. Okay, that's a lie. But it did make a big difference. I started finishing hats and scarfs. I made a sweater. I learned to CABLE. I STARTED KNITTING WITH TWO, THREE, AND MORE COLORS OF YARN ON ONE PROJECT. BY GEORGE, I WAS AMAZING!...Time passed... A few months ago I found The Knitty, where knitters posted about natural fiber, home-dyed, hand-painted, luxurious, sensuous, sumptuous, slobber-worthy yarns. I was humbled. I felt like the Queen of the Trailer Trash Knitters. I had never used any yarn but poor ole Red Heart from Wally World. I have started buying yarn off ebay, a wonderful knitter in Rochester, New York sent me some yarn skeins and samples: Noro wool and cashmere blend, Debbie Bliss alpaca silk, Queensland Kathmandu merino, silk, and cashmere blend. O! be still, my heart. My knitting mojo (I stole that, Lord of the Copyright Laws. I confess) has been seriously kicked into overdrive (and I am not manic, I don't care what they say). A future of wallowing in my newfound yarns looms before. My project list is endless. Unfortunately, my finances aren't, but... I'll yarn on.