The Yarn of Addiction

I'm waiting to hear if a friend, Rachel, a person I have never met or even talked to, has had her baby. I'm praying she and Nicholas are both well. I know her through the online Knittyboard Coffeshop and I feel very close to her and want the best for her and her boys.

I have many online friends now, all of them members of a wonderful knitting forum I discovered by accident in February of this year. I tried talking about them with my patient. He thinks they are probably nut cases like the characters he sees on Law and Order. When I wanted to meet with my cyber buddy Ali in July he just couldn't understand it--thought I was taking a chance of being murdered or abducted by white slavers. I thought it was an age thing--he's eighty-eight--but a lot of people I have talked to here think it's odd.

There is a lot of piffle written about being addicted to the internet and maybe I am an addict--I don't think so but then addicts never do. I have met many kind, caring, and generous people online, more specifically at the Knitty Coffeeshop. I live far from all my family and I am often lonely. That sounds pitiful, doesn't it? But although I have a wonderful husband and a few friends here I don't get to see any of them often. My husband comes to visit where I work as a live-in nurse and my daughter also, but very infrequently, so I really rely on my internet buds for company. I hit the site every day, many times a day. Maybe I am and addict.

I had a terrifying automobile accident while out gathering supplies the Saturday before hurricane Dennis hit Alabama, or my part of Alabama. I was not badly hurt but I was terribly battered emotionally. I needed to have a good, long cry, go to the emergency room--my ankle, my back and my chest were hurting me--and crawl into bed with the heating pad while someone patted me on the head and listened to my accident story. However, I was at work at my patient's home and I couldn't do any of those things. It would have upset him and stressed him out had I told him, which would have made his condition much worse. He was already stressed enough worrying about the storm and huffing and puffing with anxiety. My husband was at home seventy-eight miles away and already worried about me so I couldn't talk to him. My parents also--too far away and worried for me and my family because of the hurricane--couldn't be told. I needed to keep it together for my patient's sake. I put falling apart on hold but I desperately needed to talk to someone.

I posted my dilemma on the Knitty board. I got many, many kind comments of concern and support and prayers for my safety and well-being. I puddled up just reading them. I went back to the board often during the week it took for someone to come and relieve me. I read and reread the posts to the thread I had started. I cannot begin to explain what a comfort those posts were for me. I honestly don't know how I would have made it without the board to come to when my patient was napping or watching television.

No one said any disparaging or discouraging comments. No one said anything about Yarner being all over the board and making no sense at all. Many sent me PM's (private messages on the board). They sent me email. They sent me snail mail.

None of them have ever met me.

Perhaps I am an internet addict. I don't really care. I made it through one of the most hellish weeks of my life with the help of internet friends. This is one addiction I can live with.

And to all of the people on the board, thank you from the bottom of my heart.